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Parent's Guide: Section 1
Dealing with Your Young Player
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Taking the Best Approach to YOUR CHILD IN BASKETBALL
What do you want your son or daughter to get out of the experience of playing basketball?
Do you envision your child playing in the NBA or WNBA
(not likely)? Are you hoping they will become good enough to get a college scholarship (also, not that likely)? Or, do you
think their participation is a wonderful way to enjoy physical activity, learn about team play, and maybe even score a few
points?
Whatever your answer, give the question some serious thought.
The way you respond will have a major impact on how you support your son or daughter's basketball participation. More importantly,
your answer will go a long way toward determining how you interact with your youngster as he or she grows and develops as
a basketball player.
For parents of young players there is one guiding principle:
If you want your young player to develop a love for basketball, he or she must first develop a passion for the game. To do that, he or she must enjoy the game
and see basketball, particularly at a young age, as an activity that comes with a smile. That's where it all starts nothing
more than an activity where the beginning child can bounce the ball a few times, maybe plop the ball into a shorter basket,
and so forth. That's how the basketball seed is planted. Once it begins to sprout, it can continue to blossom for years to
come, with your care and nurturing, of course.
What do you do during these early formative years?
For the most part, just sit back and
share the experience with your child. Sometimes grown-ups have forgotten that basketball is just a game.
What advice should you give to your budding hoopster?
That's simple. Just tell them to play
hard, and to have fun. If they keep a smile on their face, they will most likely give a strong effort. And by playing hard
they will get better in the process.
BUILDING A BASKETBALL RELATIONSHIP With Your Child
One of the joys of being a youth basketball parent is being able to watch your child grow as a player. As a proud parent,
you'll beam when you see your little one wearing his or her first team jersey and taking those first few dribbles in a game.
As your young player grows, so will his or her game. You will be there as they improve. You will experience the sting of defeat
as well as the highs of victory. As a parent, your most important and rewarding role will be to share those moments and create
a positive basketball relationship.
What About COACHING YOUR OWN CHILD?
There's nothing wrong with volunteering as an assistant coach for your son's or daughter's team. In fact, it can be
very rewarding for you and your child. Just make sure you check with him or her first. Most of the time, they'll love the
idea. But they might say "no," too. If they prefer you don't coach, have the courage to respect your child's desires.
If the child says yes, remind him or her that if you volunteer
as an assistant coach, it won't mean any favoritism. They have to know you will treat all players equally and fairly. But
that doesn't mean being tougher on your child. Remember what you said about treating all the kids equally and fairly? That
goes for your own young player as well.
If you wish to take on the responsibility of a head coaching
position, contact your league director and make your availability known. If a position opens up, you may get the call.
Dealing with Your EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR CHILD
Let's assume your 10-year-old enjoys basketball, and that he or she is one of the better players on the team. Is it
now the time to be dreaming of a college basketball scholarship or a future NBA or WNBA career?
Dreams are fine, but keep
them in perspective. A young player might get turned off early and leave the game if they feel pushed too hard. The best path is to encourage participation,
good sportsmanship, hard work and having fun. If they understand those are your expectations from them, then the cream will
eventually rise to the top.
PLAY BASKETBALL With Your Child
More than most sports, basketball affords parents genuine on-court interaction with their son or daughter. Whether
playing a game of H.O.R.S.E (one player takes a shot from anywhere on the court, and if he or she makes it, the next player
has to match the basket or else he or she is assigned a letter until HORSE is spelled), having a free-throw shooting contest,
or even playing a simple game of one-on-one, basketball requires nothing more than a ball and a hoop.
But try not to use the opportunity to engage in competition
with your son or daughter. If your daughter is 12, compete against her as though you were 12, not a full grown adult. Get
in the habit of acknowledging a great shot or pass by your child. Make him or her feel good about their actions. Everybody
responds to positive reinforcement especially kids. And remember children imitate the actions of their parents. If you show
them how to respond to a good play, they'll follow your lead.
What's the bottom line? Basketball is one of those rare athletic
activities that can transcend gender and generations. And it's also fun! |
Parent's Guide: Section 2
Dealing With the Coach
Have a Talk With the Head Coach PRIOR TO THE SEASON
You
should always try to have a pre-season conversation with your child's coach no matter how long your child has been
playing. In fact, many coaches have a short meeting for parents prior to the season. In either case, this the perfect time
to get a sense of the coach's philosophy on such subjects as sportsmanship, playing time and practice, as well as the guidelines
and rules followed by the league.
Some Questions For the Head Coach:
How many players are going to be on the team?
What is your philosophy regarding playing time?
What are your goals regarding winning, teaching the game and developing
a fun environment?
When are the practice sessions?
How do you handle scheduling conflicts?
Have you coached players at this level before?
Do you have an assistant coach?
Could I help out in some way?
What's the best way to reach you in case I have more questions?
NOTE: Many coaches will schedule a specific time each week to call
at home if you have issues to discuss during the season.
Once you feel satisfied your child is in good hands, give the coach some
space and freedom. Allowing them to coach without feeling they have to look over their shoulder will give the coach the room
he or she needs to provide a positive team environment for all the players.
One of the major lessons that playing on a basketball team provides to
young players is tolerance and adaption to different styles of leadership. Allowing your children to deal with the player/coach
relationship on their own will go a long way towards assuring that they benefit from those lessons. If a problem arises, you
should be there for your child, but let things play out on the team level first.
Approaching the COACH WITH A PROBLEM
Sometimes,
a misunderstanding does occur. Maybe you feel your son is not getting enough playing time. Maybe your daughter is playing
forward instead of guard. Or your child's team seems to be treating its opponents in an unsportsmanlike manner. Whatever the
concern, consult the coach in a spirit of cooperation NOT confrontation.
Some parents get upset and confront coaches in the middle of a game. Not
only is this kind of action counter-productive, it embarrasses everyone, including your child. As with any other person, the
coach is much less likely to listen if you "get-up" in his or her face.
If you do feel the need to discuss an issue with the coach, try waiting 24
hours and then call the coach at home (make sure you get the coach's appropriate contact number prior to the season). Try
the following approach "Coach, perhaps you can help me with a problem my daughter is having. You see, she's always preferred
to play point guard, and we see that you have her playing forward. As a result, she is a little confused. Can you help us
work through her concerns?"
If you address the coach in a nonconfrontational manner, he or she will most
likely be happy to discuss the problem and work out a solution that suits everyone.
What
if my Child Isn't GETTING ENOUGH PLAYING TIME?
Once
more, this is the kind of issue that should be brought up in a calm and private conversation with the coach. Ideally, the
coach is keeping track of who's playing how much, and at what positions, during games. But if you and your child are convinced
that he or she isn't getting a fair amount of playing time, then it may be time to talk to the coach.
In many youth leagues, there are rules regarding player participation.
Prior to addressing the issue with the coach, you should be aware of any guidelines, if they exist. Your pre-season conversation
or meeting with the coach is the time to find this information out. If you did not, try calling the league director to find
the answer. Once prepared with the information (for example, it may be that all players are required to play at least one-half
of the game) you will be ready to speak with the coach.
Keep in mind, that with young players in particular, it can be confusing as
to who's playing and for how much time. Coaches usually employ an assistant to monitor the playing time of each child. If
there is any question about playing time, it's a matter of consulting the assistant coach's score sheet. If your child's coach
does not keep track of this, offer to help out and assist the coach by suggesting to do it yourself. On top of helping you
keep track of your child's playing time, it will probably help out some of the other players with a similar problem. And who
knows, the coach may just surprise you and be happy to receive the help.
See the other
parts in this series by going to the Jr. NBA/WNBA website. See the Links to Helpful Sites on our side menu.
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